Sunday, June 26, 2016

Last day in Munich

This morning I took comfort in the distraction of a run by the river.  It was going to be a very warm day in Munich, so I delighted in the opportunity to water the plants on Michael’s terrace.  Remembering how grandma used to count watering her garden as her morning exercise when she was a bit younger and more spry, gave me my first chance to smile about her memory rather than to cry over her loss.  I know this mourning will come in stages, I know it will be a process, having gone through the loss of my dad a few years ago, I know to expect feelings of grief to take me by surprise.  Yet even with my awareness of all those things, I enjoyed being barefoot on the terrace and smiling about her.

Today is our last day in Munich, tomorrow we travel north to the Rhine then on to Holland.  Our original plans for today included the possibility of visiting Dachau, but even at my most stable emotionally, I wasn't sure I could handle that experience.  After losing grandma yesterday, I was certain, that needed to be for another trip.  We found that we were happy to walk around the farmers market gathering snacks for our road trip tomorrow, let a load of laundry dry in the scalding sun on the terrace while we napped this afternoon, and to just enjoy this town for one more day.

We used up all the groceries in the fridge to make an eclectic salad for dinner.  After dinner and packing, we hit the streets for a final walk through Marienplatz.  On the way, we stopped by Michael’s heart art at the Holy Ghost church.  I had something to add to the display.  Last night after learning of grandma’s transition, I picked a fuchsia from a hotel’s window box for comfort.  Grandpa Harvey used to pick these flowers and twirl them from the top stem so they'd spin like a ballerina.  I can't see a fuchsia without thinking of my grandparents’ garden.  I kept the flower in a glass of water all day, looking at it when I felt sad, remembering the good times.  Tonight I tucked the flower in with other plants for loved ones at the base of the heart sculpture.  I know grandma would have liked the idea of being nestled in amongst all of that beautiful greenery overseen by a symbol of love in such a historic Munich church.

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