Thursday, June 23, 2016

A beautiful and sad day

We had such a beautiful day today, but my heart wouldn't stop aching.  I guess you could say, I felt a disturbance in the force.  We drove to Chiemsee and took the ferry from the harbor in Prien to Fraueninsel, a charming little island with a monastery, cute cottages with boat houses, and gorgeous views of the lake. The nuns smiled at me, looking deep into my eyes with loving comfort, as if to say, “I know, my child.”  Unlike other nuns, the ladies of this order dressed in gauzy white frocks, they looked more ready for picnics than prayers.  We had a delicious lunch of fresh fish fillets then took the ferry to the larger Herreninsel where crazy King Ludwig had an opulent palace built for himself. We hiked through the forest to see the beautiful grounds and gardens and imagined what life might have been like for the former residents.  Stormy skies were no where in sight today as we got our first glimpse of sun and heat during our travels.

Tired and still feeling heartsick, we drove back to Munich.  Greg kept saying how gorgeous the surroundings were but I felt like crying.  As we got closer to Munich, I began to feel nervous. As we climbed the stairs to our apartment, I climbed slowly not wanting it to be true but feelIng in my heart that she was gone.  I asked Greg if we could Skype with my mom before going out for dinner, I just knew I needed to talk to her.  Sure enough she told me today was the day grandma chose to go dance in heaven.  I didn’t want it to be true but I wasn't surprised I had been feeling her loss all day.  From all the way across the ocean, I felt you go, Grandma Lou. Mom assured us that she was fine; friends, neighbors and family were gathering around her. Also grandma wouldn't want us to be sad, which I know is true.  Still, my heart aches and eyes tear when I think how there will be no more chats and giggles, no more meals shared and appreciated, no more hugs, no more hearing her voice call me the endearing terms that were so quintessentially Grandma Lou.  It occurs to me that I'm sad for me, my mom, and all who live on and love her.  I'm not sad for her. She lived a very long and complete life. Her pain and struggles have ceased.  She is at peace and in that, I take comfort.

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Melissa, I am keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts during this time of transition. I'm glad Grandma Lou found a way to let go and I'm hopeful that she will be at peace in whatever next adventure she's on. Much love to you!