Thursday, June 23, 2016
A beautiful and sad day
Tired and still feeling heartsick, we drove back to Munich. Greg kept saying how gorgeous the surroundings were but I felt like crying. As we got closer to Munich, I began to feel nervous. As we climbed the stairs to our apartment, I climbed slowly not wanting it to be true but feelIng in my heart that she was gone. I asked Greg if we could Skype with my mom before going out for dinner, I just knew I needed to talk to her. Sure enough she told me today was the day grandma chose to go dance in heaven. I didn’t want it to be true but I wasn't surprised I had been feeling her loss all day. From all the way across the ocean, I felt you go, Grandma Lou. Mom assured us that she was fine; friends, neighbors and family were gathering around her. Also grandma wouldn't want us to be sad, which I know is true. Still, my heart aches and eyes tear when I think how there will be no more chats and giggles, no more meals shared and appreciated, no more hugs, no more hearing her voice call me the endearing terms that were so quintessentially Grandma Lou. It occurs to me that I'm sad for me, my mom, and all who live on and love her. I'm not sad for her. She lived a very long and complete life. Her pain and struggles have ceased. She is at peace and in that, I take comfort.